fool for love

big boss was talking about how he handled his daughter’s prelude to teenage rebellion. she’s 16, i thought he’d see that coming. i asked him that. well not this soon, he said. i started when i was 15, i confessed. well you’re different, he ridiculed. yes, i was different. i was the school’s virgin slut. where i came from, there were many sluts. but i was different. i was a virgin. no, i didn’t say that out loud.

it’s been 10 years since i first had a boyfriend. ok, fine. 11 years. i don’t remember much of my first love. except for the fact that he’s about a foot taller than i was. (i say was coz i think im still growing, vertically and horizontally. thank god, or else i’d look like a teapot.) his name was firdaus. and he stinks. i only put up with him coz he’s got the sexiest manly man voice and he looked like snoop doggy dogg. bear in mind, that this was back in the days when i used to memorize all the lyrics to doggystyle.

emo people preach that u’ll always remember your first kiss.

im sorta kinda emo. sometimes. but i don’t remember my first kiss. i was probably too traumatized to render it in my mind with red permanent marker.

then, my second one was this dude named sham. cute, but a jerk. cute guys always are.. no, wait, guys always are. fullstop. and then was this man child who was about the same age as fali. 2 years younger than me but wise beyond his years. or so i thought. little boys will always be little boys. everything was okay up until the point when i got caught in the act by my dad. luckily though, we weren’t really in the act. but i still got slapped 12 times. 3 from mom and the rest from dad. and grounded for bring boys home when mom and dad were out winning breads for the family. serves me right.

and then was this guy named wan. he was a few inches shorter than me, but he smelled great and speaks considerably good english. and he’s cute. may i remind you again about cute guys? this one was cuter than the one before. here’s my theory … the cuter a guy is, the bigger the jerk.

upon finishing spm, i hooked up with ewan. he’s another cute one. i have the tendency to fall for cute guys with bad attitude... i don’t know why. just my luck i guess.

and then i got into itm. when i finally got over ewan, i was kinda going out with this short, kinda almost cute guy. it only lasted about 3 weeks coz he’s a jerk. and then enter kamalrol. he’s also cute and i know he can be a potential jerk, i only found out 4 years too late. love makes you blind i guess.

then there was Y. yet, another cute one. go figure.

after that, everything just went cute and downhill for me.

that is, until i met ayis.