speaking about friends … the people who make life seem a lot more bearable, i mean. not the shitass company im slaving for day after freaking unstopping day. i’ve always had bad experiences about friendships. i’ll trust and get close to those whom i think thinks like i do, those who’d listen to me and take my side. i had what’s called the lalang friendship.
i once said that i never truly had best friends, not even during my school years. i kept thinking to myself, they’re such a disappointment, but the painful truth was, i think i was their disappointment. what the hell made me think that i never had true friends, i don’t know.
maybe its true what they said … that i am truly a bitch. scheming on other people, not being tactful on how others might feel about what i say. selfish, insensitive, self-righteous, scheming, ungrateful bitch. yes, that’s all me and more.
looking back, i think, no wait.. i know i owe a lot to those i once called best friends - for making my younger years a lot more interesting, for making life a lot more tolerable, for covering up for me when i fucked up, for helping me up when i was unable to do anything right, for just being there.
you know who you are ... and i know you don’t give a fuck, but in case you’re reading this … with my tail in between my legs, forgive me for being such a fucked up bitch all these years. i know now that i was the the only one responsible for shunning people away.
and to the handful of friends i’m able to keep, for now, that includes you, my love. thank you for understanding me, thank you for the smiles and laughs, thank you for listening while i unfold my crazy, hectic life day after day, thank your for your craziness, thank you for not judging me, thank you for accepting me, thank you for your support, but most of all ... thank your for the coffee!
just in case your wondering, no im not dying.
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