when it rains .. it pours

i am talking about jobs, not the weather. these couple of days have been great, for a change. not that many jobs. just a few pitches here and there. a few conflicts here and there. but then again.. there are more things to worry my big flabby ass about. its only job-related, so i guess that can be unraveled later. im not at courtesy to mention anything to anyone or anywhere for the time being anyway. all i can say is its pretty serious. not a matter of life and death, but close enough.

puasa’s looming … and the previous previous ‘cuti’ pun i haven’t yet ganti'd. here’s a confession : i've never ganti my puasa since puberty. 8 days for every year (not including the ponteng-on-purpose days). kalau nak bayar fidyah tu … i think there’ll l be a feast in somalia.

talking about puasa takes me back to those puasa days when i was in high-school. i had to walk back home from the bus stop in taman permata everyday after school see ... and its about a 10-minute walk under the hot scorching sun. during puasa lagilah hilang akal kan? so, naturally i’d be panting like a dog in heat by the time i reached my front door, and without considering any causes or consequences, i headed straight to the fridge and pour me a tall cold glass of ice water. sedap gila. and then, come berbuka .. i sat down with the whole family, faking a tired, famished, puasa the whole day look, selamba je berbuka with everyone else yang puasa betul-betul. i wont get started about those times i ponteng in the name of teenage ardor and lust.

i know.. im a bad, bad girl.

i don’t know if i want to look forward to puasa. well yeah, there won’t be much work (hopefully), we get to go home at 4.30, and then there’s baking cookies for sale with mom, there’s dinner with the family everyday, ikan bakar every saturday, the taman melawati’s tahu sumbat (you should try this .. it's kulit tahu, sumbat with potato and mixed vegetables, doused with bbq-ish sauce .. fucking awesome! and you can only get it during puasa, in taman melawati), the losing 5 kilos (and gaining 10 on the first day of raya alone) … you know ... stuff that i always look forward to every puasa.

but then i have to sacrifice not seeing ayis everyday like i always do on the other 335 days of the year. he’s a bit looney sometimes (he wants to marry me, he’s got to have loose screws somewhere to do that) but he’s not crazy enough to want to go through the jam everywhere along the route to my house. very wise on his part. but the withdrawal’s gonna drive me into depression. (gila drama queen!)

but i guess that’s what ramadhan is all about - family. food. and sacrifices.