the weight of the problem

"eh, awak ni gemok lah!" said my old neighbour, stating the obvious. wtf? "eh! saya baru lepas beranak, sure lah gemok!". dia tak sedar dia tu botak. even my husband don't say things like that to me. of course he has to thread his words carefully, because i hold sex as collateral. but tafak? gimme time lah. of course it might take a while because of my lack of discipline and give-a-damness. i'm taking it half a kilo a time. and i need to lose about, oh, 70 more kilos? so, gimme time.

and it's not like i'm not trying. my mom have been tying my hands and forcing down i have been taking diet pills, which look like BB gun pellets and smell like goat droppings, by the way. TEN of them at a time, mind you. i don't know if they're working, but my appetite is not so raging as it used to be. and i can fit into my old jeans. old ones that used to be big, but still, they fit and i feel good about it. and i dont aspire to be stick thin. my boobs dont seem to be going anywhere (but south) and i don't want to topple over when i walk because my ass isnt proportionate to my chest? im already naturally a klutz. why purposely make it worse?

you know what, i may be fat. but i dont hide it. and i don't go around taking pictures of myself only from the neck up and post them up on facebook just to hide the fact that i am bulat and boyak and blubbery and blobby. i simply post old photos. hah!

people, i am fat. deal with it, because i am.