monthly letter : month seventeen

Hello My Little Whiny Koala,



Sorry, i haven't been procrastinating on writing you a letter, i swear. i've been terribly busy with work lately. i've been lagging and i've been tired and this job, it's taken a toll on you too. i have been leaving you with daddy and oma and wont see you till the next morning. and even that, for just a few minutes. but i think you're beginning to understand that i have to work and why i have to work. because you did not turn into a typical toddler when i get home at 2 in the morning. thank you for that.



but speaking of toddlery behaviour, when and where the heck did you learn how to scream on top of your lungs whenever you're not getting things your way? you'd scream and smack on things and any bodily parts of ours (and yours), preferably the head, when we refuse to follow your directions. like, hello, you're barely one and a half years old, you're not supposed to have directions.



i learned one thing more about being a mom - you tend to eat your words much more than you expect it was possible. i swore to myself (before i had you) that my kid won't turn out to be like some kids who'd run around and scream bloody murder and cry and roll themselves in the middle of shopping isles. no, my kid will be the most polite and well-behaved kid on the planet ... well, i'm eating my words now and let me assure you, they for sure aren't tasty. i just wish that this terrible toddler-monster phase will be over soon because i'm running out of wits and patience trying to block you out of disapproving eyes.





other than all that screaming and smacking, you've been such a babe, you know. you're unleashing many more vocabs and the comprehension of words. you're such a fast learner too. i mean we don't have to drill you so many time for you to get it. you just get it. you can already distinguish the difference between numbers and alphabets. like when we're looking for parking spaces, you'd point at the parking numbers and say "A! Tuu! A! Tuu" even when it reads B3. yeah, at one year four plus months old, you know how an A looks and sounds like - thank you, sesame street.



Oh! you love Love LOVE sesame street. if i'm watching the TV outside in the family room, you'd pull my finger to drag me into our room and then you'd point at our TV and ask for Ammo (Elmo). If i refuse, you'd cock your head to the side and beg me with the most adorable "phih! phih! phih! mamma, phih!" .. i mean, how could you say no to that, right?



your ever expanding list of vocab right now include words like Pish (fish), Air (water/ice), Phih (please), Ammo (elmo), Eye (eye), Tuu (this/that), Duck, Key, Doh (sleep), Dom (jom), Dah (done), Babol (bubble. used to be bubba), Bubbye, Baih (bus, used to be bah), Nanak (no, thanks), Hi, Allo (hello), Eat!, Tittu (thank you), Diti! (dirty. your favourite word by far. you'd go around pointing at all the dirt and lint and dust and stains and everything, even the pig on the tv going Diti! EEE! Diti!. i know its early to tell, i just hope that's not an early sign of OCD), Dah, Nak, Egg, Loyi, (lorry), Car, Adidaa (alhamdulillah), Abeh (finish), Tatak (kakak), Bebeh (baby), Batak (bathtub), Badu (baju), Mano (mana?), Babat (your you-know-what), Petah-petah-petah (when we try to teach you a word and it's hard for you to pronounce, you'd give up and say Petah-petah-petah! it's the cutest thing ever) .. and there there are many more words you'd blurt out at random that i can't recall at the moment.



You're gonna be one-and-a-half next month. It's crazy how fast time flies. And it's even crazier that i spend most of it away from you because i have to work. You already know what the word 'work' means and you're scared of the word because it means that we'll leave you. The other day, you hung on to my legs and i practically had to drag you because you didnt want me to go to work. And also, there was one day, you'd shut my wardrobe door a few times because you didn't want me to get ready for work. It breaks my heart and i just wish that there were better situation and solution that i can minimize my hours a bit more or work at home while taking care of you. but right now, there is none so we just have to bear with this a little while longer, ok baby? just know that i don't intend to neglect you or anything. i would never do that. i'd be crazy to do that. just know that you're constantly on my mind even when i'm not away from you. even in my dreams.



Love,
Mamma.