between the husband and i, i think i have more patience when it comes to handling arwen. but since last night, i was Monster Mom. i was out sick and high on Xetac and all i wanted to do was watch American Idol. selfish, i know. but i was not in the mood for anything else.
she was getting on my nerves from the time i wanted to feed her dinner (because she insisted to feed herself and i didnt want to waste time with that. i just wanted to get her to eat something, feed myself and then be done with it. is that too much to ask?) but no, not Arwen. Not the little diva who wants things done her way since even before she was born.
and then she insisted that i be in the room with her and her dad to watch Elmo. im already sick of the little red fuzzy fucker. i wanted to watch American Idol for 2 hours. is that too much to ask? it's not that we don't give in and banned her from Sesame Street altogether. the show was already on repeatedly in our room. and it's not like there's nobody else in the room. ayis was there. so i went into the room, played with her a bit and then i went out to continue watching AI. and then she went screaming again for me. that went on for a few more times before i finally lost my cool and yelled at her.
yes, i yelled.
and my mom, who just stood by watching, asked me why i had to be angry at arwen. i told her "she needs to learn who's boss. i cant always be doing what she wants me to do. asyik kata dia je nak ikut. naik lemak lah" and then Arwen wanted milk, and after her daddy has made the milk, she didnt want it. and then she wanted to pee, only when i took her to the toilet, took off her pants and diaper, she only wanted to play with the faucet. siapa tak marah?
losing it bit by bit last night, finally i pinched her softly on her thigh and told her to lie down quitely, drink her milk and watch elmo and then go to sleep. and she complained, "atik, mamma, atik" while pointing on her thigh (atik = sakit). i did not feel an ounce of guilt for my daughter because i was still pissed with her.
by this time, i've already forgo watching american idol. what's the point, really? after she finally drank her bottle of milk, and then slept, that's when i hugged her close and kissed her forehead and whispered in her ear that i am sorry for being angry and her, and for causing her pain and for everything else.
and then this morning, the drama continues. i am still sick and i was already late for work. it took me 15 minutes to dress her up because she finds it amusing to run around naked with her mom chasing after her with a squirt of lotion in her hands. and when i finally got her down, she poured out a bottle of vitamins and took a handful of the little stars into her mouth. i managed to yank out 2 of it and left her with 2 because i dont want her to bite my finger. and then she took out one at a time, threw it on the floor and exclaimed "Mamma! Jatuh! Diti!". and then she ran to the side table and played with the lamp. after countless of times of me telling her not to play with the lamp because i dont want her to get electrocuted, she still thinks that it's a pretty nice toy. further yelling and screaming entail.
seriously, what does a mom has to do to catch a break? have you guys ever lost it and went all monster mom? these are the moments that make me think twice about having another.
which brings me to another thing that would make me lose my cool one more time this week. can people (by people i mean friends, family, doctors and random strangers) please stop telling me that it's time for me to have another baby? or that i should not stop at 2. maybe i don't want another baby. maybe i have my own plans. maybe i'm not even planning. whatever it is, it's mine to make. so, everyone else, please shut the fuck up. kthnksbye.
10 comments:
kadang-kadang Ziyyad juga kene yelled,dia suka main tutup buka suis tv..kita takut dia kena electrocuted tapi dia ingat mainan yg best
memang pernah marah gila kat ziyyad,i spank his hand pasal buka tutup suis masa tengah tengok moviw kat tv
memang hangin betul,kena jerit kena pukul sikit,baru tau,dia nanges
tapi later lepas dia sleep,same like u,saya bisik kat dia saya "mama sorry,lenkali jgn nakal sangat tau"
dia angguk-angguk sikit dan terus tido
esoknya buat lagi!!!
gahh.
how do i catch a break?
babah Ziyyad petang-petang selalu bawa Ziyyad g umah mak tok and wan dia jalan-jalan naik motor,memang masa itu saya gunakan untuk rehat,melunur kaki dan tengok the nanny,tak kisah la rerun or nor,janji relaks jap
hie, i really think this is a good topic for you to share.actually, ive been wanting to share my experience on this issue in my blog but keep on procrastinating.
yes, having a girl toddler can be very much exciting (for all her new bijakness everyday)and very mencabar kesabaran at the same time. to be honest, ive yelled a few times at my girl coz i sometimes lost my temper and my hubby always think i shouldnt do that (coz sometimes the yelling came along with a little slap on the bum/thigh).
the feeling of guilt will come right after she cried saying "sakit" or "soyii mummy" and i will quickly hug her back. i was fighting with myselves, i always wonder, am i a bad mum for treating a 22months old this 'hard' way?but as soon as she's asleep,i too will kiss and say sorry to her. now, i try to control my temper by reading some tips in handling notti toddler like mine.hehe i guess they're just experimenting and they will grow "bijak" out of that:p
what i did to catch a break? thank god we live in the same house as my mum most of the time,so i just 'pass' my daughter around:) but nowadays,since im 4months preggy, she becomesss so clingyyyy and can be irritating coz sampai i poo poo pun dia nak join.so cannot pass her,guess have to live with it.
p/s:haha part tgk elmo tu mmg sebijik like my daughter!bukak tv nak tgk dvd barney, bukak laptop nak tgk elmo kat youtube, tgk handphone, suruh pasang video dia sendiri and now, kalau dgr radio,nak dgr cd "lagu daddy nyanyiii..." urgghh...muntah darah dah :0
oh. I mmg Monster Mom. Everyday jadi green monster.
glad that you guys are being honest about this. i was starting to think i'm the crazy one.
coz bila bukak other mommy blogs, semua cerita yang best2 je pasal anak, pasal motherhood. tak pernah yang tak best. semua yang hensem-hensem wangi-wangi je.
makes me wonder that biar betul real life dorang camni? all rainbows and butterflies je. tak pernah tengking kat anak2, tak pernah angkat tangan kat anak, tak pernah cubit anak manja2, tak pernah gertak anak.
makes me wonder if there's any less tough-love way to discipline a toddler? is there such a thing?
i'd sometimes pass my daughter around so that i can catch a break, but most of the time, she rather cling to me than to anyone else, to yang tension tu.
glad that i'm not alone. monster mom ke singa mom ke, sometimes i can't control pinching my own son. bila dia tido sambil mulut ternganga mula la sedih macam nak rak. but when he wakes up and nakal balik... i pinch him again.
i hope he will forgive me in the future.
I'm always monster mom... my FB status is perpetually bout how i'm losing my temper with the kids and feeling guilty bout it... ahahahhaa
Everytime I lose my temper I promise to try control it better next time round, but these kids of mine nih, cam tauuuuuu je what to do to make me lose my cool!!
wat to do??
but I tell myself, tak pe la. I've got to accept who they are (with their nasty behaviour and all), they've got to accept me as well!! :P
haaaa! i love this topic bcuz mmg too good too be true but maybe they re perfect lah. whutever.i am not.just like u, i want to watch my program too but no, farell wud always kacau me whenever or whatever program is on. sometimes i merajuk je bcuz if i yell, he will laugh at me. he thinks its so funny that i jerit2. and even when he got enough attention, he still demands it. and i hate it when ppl ckp he s lack of attention just bcuz i nak tgk one movie.but bila dia finally tido after all the heartbreak n chaos, i will peluk dia and just whisper la kat dia that i love him even tho im a lion mom. hehe
haha thanks for sharing this. i can hardly advice because my son is only 7 months old, but i can say this : my SIL currently has a 2.7 yr old daughter who drives her up the wall everyday, but from what i see the tough years would be arnd 1-2 yr old. My SIL was practically screaming and running after her daughter everytime I saw her. Now? The daughter's still the same, but my SIL wants to have another one now, even though it would seem madness to everyone else.
Uh, I dont really know what i'm trying to say, other than if you want to have another one, you'll know. and who cares what other people say? even myself, with my supposedly well behaved son, i have second thoughts to have a second one simply because of the hubby factor. haaaaaa.
oh, and also, my son has not developed any severe stranger anxiety yet, and i am wondering (and maybe also hoping) that he would develop some sort of clinginess to me. Considering i'll be going back to work soon and with the on-calls and whatnot I fear that he might identify our MAID as his mother figure.
but reading about toddler clinginess has made me think twice about it now. more than 5 mothers i know/read about wish their kids would cling less to them. och aye.
Not yet a mom, but I appreciate your honesty. The thing that makes me avoid mommy blogs (except yours, yours is perhaps the only one I can stand) at all costs is how pretty & unbelievably fairytale they make it all sound. My cousins and in-laws have this knack of letting me babysit their children on trips so they could walk hand-in-hand like lovesick couple. Agak susah sebab tak boleh nak yell or cubit suka hati sebab bukan anak kita, tapi dia orang punya nakalnya ya Allah, nak-nak pulak kalau ramai-ramai, memang Adam Stacy bergabung meletup boom.
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