monthly letter : month twenty three

Dear Arwen,



this month, we're in a frenzied panic mode as your caretaker, Kak Su is going back to her hometown in Indonesia in November so we're weighing our options to either look for a maid, or another sitter. i will not send you to a nursery if i can help it. i'd consider quitting my job and be your full time mom if that's the only option we have. but fortunately though, omayang has agreed to look after you next year. although i am worried coz i don't know if she can handle a robust toddler. but she's not willing to let go of you just yet. we're relieved because we know you'll be in good and loving hands. and you'll learn stuff when we're not here to teach you stuff. sometimes you learn stuff that we forgot to teach you. like taking the wudu'. or praying. or Alif-Ba-Ta.



you probably don't remember Kak Su, but you both love each other tremendously. sometimes she'll come over to the house even if it's not her day to look after you just because she misses you. sometimes you scream for wanting to follow her home. i don't know how she's gonna handle being away from you permanently. we're hoping she'll come back next year and agree to look after you again even if it's just part time. i'm not sure how you're gonna handle it.



your milestones have been amazing this month. everytime we finish showering, you'd buy more time getting out of the shower because you love playing with water. so you's say you want to take wudu'. and so you'll narrate every step of the wudu' like "basuh nanan. sampai siku. basuh ni-nga. basuh pala. basuh molot. basuh tati. basuh babat". so it's a little disarray but it's already more that what we expected from a barely two year old.



you are very vocal about how you feel. like, if you're sulking, you'd say "Arwen ajuk. Nanak kawan" And if you're annoyed about people always being on your case, you'd say "Nangan kacau, arwen nak gok tv!" such a grown up, you are!



you can already recognize all the letters of the alphabet and numbers from 1-10. you can't really spell yet but it's an ongoing progress. everytime you want to spell something, it'll always come out "ABC - bola-ball" "ABC - cat" "ABC-goldilocks!". oh and speaking of goldilocks, i think that's your favorite bedtime story. when you want to read it yourself, you'd open up the book and point to the words and go "bako bako bako bako goldilocks!"



at 23 months old, know your name and our names. when i ask you what's your name, you'd go "Anana Arwen", and when i ask you what's Mamma's name, you'll go "A-yi-cha!" and daddy "Ice" (yeah, that's what my cousins call him, Iceman), Oma is "A-cha", Opa is "O-chi", Mo is "Papana", Baiz is "iz", Mak Tok is "Ju-ai-da", Tokbah is "Ochoff!. when i asked you what the monkey on the tv's name is after teaching you it's baboon, you say "Anana!"



I cannot believe i'm a mom to an almost two year old. you've grown up so wonderfully that it makes me cry to realize that you know, im not that bad at doing this. i was really worried and apprehensive at first because i didnt know what to expect, we didnt know that we could really be good parents. i know it's too early to tell coz we've only been going at this for almost 2 years and it's still a lifetime to go. and who knows what you'll be like in 12 years time. will you be defiant? will you be teachers' pet? will you be a geek? will you be a cheerleader material? we really wont know till we cross that bridge.



but i promise you this sayang, as your mom, i'll always have your back. i'll always encourage you no matter what course of life you pursue. i will guide you towards what i think is best for you but i know, you are strong and independent and have your own mind. that's how you're built. i know you know what's best for you. no doubt, you will hate me, and i will be mad at you but i promise, we will learn from each other and that we will always love one another, because well, i gave you life and you gave mine.

Ilochi,
Mamma.