monthly letter : month twenty two

Dear Arwen



wee! 2 more months and you'll turn two! i'm really not that scared about you turning two because the 'terrible two' phase came early for you. so i've been there and i think i can handle it. -ish. of course, not on my own. i think i'd go crazy if i had to handle you on my own. thank god for Oma and your uncles. of course, daddy's been great helping me out with you. although sometimes, you can really test his patience.



actually, you test everyone's patience. even the cats. but they're much more tolerant with you than us. but you know how to tug our heartstrings. every time you hear our voice raised and annoyed and exasperated, you'll turn ever so sweetly and say "Soyyi (pissed of person). I Lo Chi (pissed of person)" and immediately we turn into mush. it's really hard to stay mad at you for long. one time, daddy yelled at you to stop you from climbing your stool. he told you to get down and counted 1, 2 ... (as a warning before he come to get you) and you, instead of coming down from your stool, continued daddy's counting ... "4,5,7,9,10!". i was the one who burst out laughing first. daddy was still trying to keep a straight face until he saw me curled up in bed trying to stop laughing.



you are really, really smart! even Mo, the smartest person i know, is impressed at your smartness. you can sing the whole ABC song now. well, okay you skipped a few letters, but it's much more than what most 3 year olds know. not only do you know the song, you recognize the letters too. this is how you sing it : "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, M, O, P, T, L, E, Y, Z!" and your numbers? "One, Two, Three, Pief, Seben, Ate, Nine, Ten!".





And, you know a lot about the animal kingdom. even more so now because our DVD player is busted and hence, no more elmo before bed, so either i'll read to you or when i'm not in the mood to read, we'll watch Animal Planet. You know almost ALL the animals in your animal book. I think it's safe now to give you the Creature book that Mo got you as a New Year's present.

Earlier last month, we went for a family holiday to singapore and the one thing that left the most impact on you was the trip to night safari. and randomly, when the memory comes to you or whenever we try to distract your attention, you'll start to recall all the animals that you saw. You'll go "ada lion, ada tiger, ada pig, ada anena (hyena), ada ocha (rusa), ada ippo-thomas, ada rhino, ada yaff (giraffe), ada zebra, ada nake (snake), ada bangau, ada cow, ada bontot gajah". you distinctly remember that big bontot gajah coz when we passed by his enclosure, he had his back towards us. oh, also and it was in singapore that you took your first train ride, and first carousel ride.





You can't read, but you can already recite us the storyline to your favourite bedtime story, Goldilocks. When i'm tired (because i just read the story 4 times already), i'd ask you to read it to me. And you'll cook up this drama about Mama Bear and Daddy Bear and Baby Bear going jalan-jalan. And Kakak came in and ate all the bubur, and dodok on the baby chair and .. pecah! And then Kakak went to sleep and Daddy Bear found her in the bed and he said "Oi!". Kakak terkejut and lari-lari-lari and said "Soyyi". And then you'll close the book and give yourself a clap. yup, that's one more thing about you that i forgot to mention. you are very self-congratulatory. i'm not sure if that's a good or bad trait to have.





you talk like we do. very KL way to talk, with a mix of malay and english. occasionally, you'll become a thesaurus and say all the bilingual synonym of a word. like "payung-umbaba", "panas-hot", "pedas-hot-sssss", "ilang-gone-lepas-takde", "abish-finish", "nak eat-makan-lapar". oh, speaking of eating, i don't know why but whenever we drive into a tunnel (which you love and know when it's coming up every time we're at the Penchala Link or going into KLCC's underground parking) you'll go "mama, nak eat, arwen lapar" ... even when you just had food or milk. what is it about tunnels that make you hungry?



the other day, while i was watching Baby Story on TV (because stories about women giving birth always make me cry and get tingles in my womb, and then i see you climbing precariously on stuff and throwing tantrums, i say to myself .. "no way. no more"), and you went "Mamma, nak adik. Nak baby!". i was speechless. do not get ideas into your daddy's head, please. maybe next year, but not now.






it breaks my heart to see you play all by yourself. you even find it amusing to play hide and seek with your shadow. it's heartbreaking. i know you want somebody to play tea with, and throw a concert with, and read with, and draw with, and get into a whole lot of trouble with. i know i can't be selfish because this is your future we're talking about. i know about all the joy and security of having siblings - to have someone who'd always have your back no matter how crazy-bitch you get, to play pretend with and slap around with even you're all grown up, to have someone to complain to and understands when you complain about your parents. i know that having siblings provide a much more colourful childhood and a better future.



i want all that for you. i want you to have what i and daddy had when we were growing up. we will work on a sister or brother for you. i know that it has to be soon(ish) because an age gap that's too far apart sucks coz you guys wont think or act in the same wavelength. but for now, you can keep up playing with your shadow coz i don't think you're ready for it. because you love to sit (and jump) and sleep on my stomach and you get crazy jealous when i handle somebody else's baby. and also, because you're still not weaned off the bottle or potty trained.



ok fine, maybe I am not ready for a new baby. but i promise you. it won't be long.




Love,
Mamma.