round two. here we go again.

so, good news. i'm pregnant again. we've been planning for this since last year so alhamdulillah, our prayers have come true.

i've gotten to know about this pregnancy this time around from early on. i can instinctively tell that i am pregnant because my boobs were sore like mad and none of my office pants fit around the waist anymore. my last period was the day before christmas and although i did have some bleeding and cramps around the end of Jan, the day before i was supposed to leave for a leadership programme in Gopeng, which i though was period, turns out to be maybe just implantation bleeding because the days after that, there were only cramps and no blood.

so i bought the pregnancy test during lunch at work, waited for the need to go to the toilet to pee but there was no pee. my colleague urged me to drink but i didn't have any pee in me until the next morning. i know! i tested on one stick and the second pink line was a bit vague so i peed on another stick and waited. both sticks now presented 2 pink lines. i'm pregnant. woohoo.

got out of the shower and first one i broke the news to was my mom coz she was just there. and then i called my husband who was a bit blur about the whole thing to be honest. like as if he had no idea that he put sperm in my womb all these times and ... "what? really? pregnant?" i was like, "We both wanted this. Together. Right? Don't make me accidently smack you in the head with my huge painful boobs now."

on saturday, two weeks ago, 11th i think it was, we went to see a doctor and had a scan. she said i am pregnant but it's only about 4 weeks so she sent me off with packs of hormones and folic acid and told me to come back in a couple of weeks to see the progress and determine the EDD.

i patiently waited 2 weeks to break the news to the world and it was hard. but the husband had a different idea. he said, good news cannot wait to be told. he doesn't get how people (I) want to keep good news while we'll be the first ones to blab when it comes to gossips and spreading lies and rumours. well, yeah, he makes a lot of sense. but we're talking about a 4 week old ... it's not even a fetus yet. i mean, anything can happen, right?

i've started the nausea and puking around last week. a few days before the scheduled checkup. that's when i figured that i'd better tell the office and my boss about it before it gets worse. at least they can understand if i have to suddenly rush out of a meeting to another personal meeting with the toilet bowl.

last saturday, we went to the checkup in the morning where the doctor scanned me again and we saw flickering heartbeats! i love ultrasounds. so the doctor measured the little nub and she estimated the baby to be at 7 weeks old which makes my EDD 15th of October. if this is like Arwen, it could be earlier.

so far, all my early pregnancy symptoms are similar to when i was carrying arwen. i've been nauseas all day, i cannot eat anything spicy and with strong flavours, i'd puke at odd times all day. on good days it could just be 2-3 times but so far my bad days could lead up to 10 puke sessions which means i throw out everything i eat or drink. i also sneeze twice at once which is annoying. but alhamdulillah, so far, i can shower, brush my teeth and shampoo without immediately having my head stuck halfway into a toilet bowl. and i can handle perfumes and cologne. i just cannot handle the smell of cooking, especially when someone deep fries a fish.

arwen has been giving out 'signs' that she 'can tell' from early on, before i even found out. like, she'd voluntarily sleep with Oma than with us few nights in a row. We have also told her about the baby in my tummy lest she jumps on it. she's been receptive. a bit clingy and mengada than usual, but receptive. she understands that she needs to help me out with things when the baby comes. she'd talk to my tummy too sometimes telling the baby that it's cute.

she doesn't yet understand that the baby is still small and that it will take a while till it grows. she doesn't understand how it got there. right now she thinks that magic has probably something to do with it. she doesn't understand why i need to puke all the time, or why i scream in pain when she tries to rest her head on my chest. i will tell her why and how someday.but for now, i just want her to understand that we're giving her and the baby a lifetime of comfort and pain, understanding and grudge, friendship and family that comes from having siblings. i just think that Arwen would make an awesome big sister, more that what i have been to my brothers. somebody deserves a big sis like her. this baby will be blessed.