the only one who can truly love you is yourself. so go ahead, masturbate!

it's a wonderful feeling to be tagged by someone. thanks, foxyfarah for thinking of me when you did your tagging. usually i'd do my own memes (found on the net) out of sheer boredom (pathetic, i know) and i don't even bother to tag others cause most of my friends, they suck. they wouldn't want to waste time doing it.

i actually have this done a long time ago. only it was 100 things. to top it up and make it 116 would seem, i dont know, narcissistic? how do i do it without getting TMI? can i come up with 16 more ways to wank myself? by the way, does wanking too much make one lose oneself? oklah, i wont call it wanking anymore and make me sound lonely and perverted. i'll call it 'aggrandized sense of self'.

Directions: Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a blog/facebook note with 16 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 16 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment or tag them in your note to read this.

1. i absolutely hate ironing. i mean HATE! i rather sit down for hours and fold 6 loads of laundry (including matching ALL the socks in the house) than to iron. i was lucky enough that i work in creative and for us creatives, unlike Akademi Fantasia, talent is key, not how we look. i come to work in jeans and casual tops and sandals sometimes flip flops. most times with no make up whatsoever. just moisturizer.
   
   but now, being married to someone who has to wear corporate attire everyday, and baju batik on thursdays, i have to iron clothes every week. tapi most of the time really malas and ayis pun dont mind it and he'll wear shirts that are not so terribly creased. when i was pregnant, i couldn't even iron anything because it hurts to sit or stand really long so my dear husband, despite the fact that i have relentlessly asked him to send his clothes to the dobi, wore creased shirts. until one day, his friend asked if he had a fight with his wife, sebab seminggu pakai baju tak bergosok. buat malu only. my arwah Tok Mak was the one who thought me the system to iron clothes. and i'd be reminded of her everytime i do ironing. so, with every piece of clothing i iron, i silently recite Al-Fatihah for her.
   
   
2. i still don't know how to drive. and still refuse to learn how to.
   
   
3. i can multitask sometimes, depending on what i'm doing. like eating when i'm working. or singing when i'm showering. dancing when im mopping the floor. but i can never read while im shitting. i dont know why. i tried it but i cant fully concentrate defacating. and i wouldnt want to be sitting on the throne for too long. i wouldnt want to imagine the size of hemmeroids happening. and furthermore, dont you think its unhygenic that you carry newspaper / book / magazine in the toilet, read it while you shit and then leave it for other people to read after you? can you imagine the amount of germs on that reading collaterals after you're done with it?
   
   
4. i'm still wearing my maternity clothes. they're sooooo comfortable. by maternity clothes i mean clothes that i've worn during my pregnancy lah, not the typical prego tent most moms wear. i've never bought any maternity tops, just random empire dresses or tunics that are stylo and comfortable enough to wear around my pregnant belly that time.
   
   
5. when i was pregnant, i prayed that my baby wouldnt come out with so much hair. actually, mom prayed the same thing too. i dont know, i find that babies are much more cuter when they're bald. dah keluar pulun taruk olive oil to make the hair grow thicker. no offense, babies with hair. im not saying that you're not cute. of course you are. i'm just saying you'd be cuter if you shave it all off.
   
   
6. whenever i walk around and see other people's babies, i secretly say to myself that "my baby is way cuter!". bukan perasan. i'm sure all moms think their baby is much more adorable than the next one, kan? come on, dont lie.
   
   
7. i love speech bloopers! the husband's family memang the kind of people who'd keep tab on whoever yang tersasul or tersalah cakap and buat jadi modal jokes for every family gatherings. the boys in the office pun crazy like that. pantang salah cakap, surely will be the butt of the joke for days on end.
   
   
8. i prefer starbucks to coffeebean
   
   
9. i prefer mcdonald's to burger king
   
   
10. i prefer apple to microsoft
    
    
11. i wore my husband's briefs when i was pregnant because everything of mine became too small, even the discoloured grandmother panties i keep for emergency cases. men's briefs and boxers are so freaking comfortable! i still wear boxers to sleep.
    
    
12. i never quite like flowers. i mean i can appreciate their beauty and i like taking pictures of flowers like i did here, but as gifts? if you want to give me something, give me something that lasts and that i dont need to water or jaga to make it live a little longer.
    
    
13. when i was single dulu, right after watching talent shows on TV, american idol, malaysian idol and the likes, i used to lock myself in the room and sing and dance in front of my mirror, imagining i was on the show and thinking i could do better than them.
    
    
14. i have been reminding you that i am crazy, kan?
    
    
15. if im not working in advertising now, i think i'd be doing something crafty. maybe open up a little novelty scrap book - fancy paper - creative gift packaging store. or something.
    
    
16. im married to a profoundly amazing guy who not only rocks my world but is my world (which would mean that he rocks himself?). i love him to bits, although i think he'd want me to say this more often.

so there you have it! and by the power vested in me by the state of crazy, i hereby tag YOU! (i dont know 16 people who'd want to do this, but if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged. ktnxbye!)

go ahead, masturbate.