i'm like, the laziest workaholic there is

i'm in the midst of getting my work portfolio in order. 3 years worth of work is no joke, man. im the only copywriter in this agency and we have 3 art directors cum designers, so compiling all the jpegs from 3 designers is hard work. nak muntah dah. but luckily they are cool people, so they don't mind me bothering them about these things. but why am i compiling? maybe it's because i'm starting to panic. we have a couple of these cool people jumping ships already and i know, from experience, this will take turn for the worst. when one leaves, especially one of the best, most reliable one, the rest will surely follow. but no, i have not send out my resume yet. i'm not testing waters yet. i'm pretty comfortable here. i wish i'd make more money, but considering the 'perks' (personal, not managerial) i'm having, i think i'll bear with it for a little while longer. and furthermore, we're looking to buy a house this year, so it'd be wise if i do not jump ship as yet.

if i leave though, i don't think i'll be going back to working in advertising. maybe i'll jump over to the client's side. maybe i'll go into academics. i have almost 10 years of industry experience, it'd be selfish if i'd just kept it to myself. right? plus, with the kid and everything else in my life, i think i have so much more to lose now to the obscure world of advertising. i think i should find something more permanent, and sure. something that doesnt take me away from my family until insane hours into the night. i need to work somewhere that gives me more mom hours.

on another less serious work note, my poster business is back in full gear. i've tried putting it off and 'close shop' for a month because i've been terribly busy. and during that 'break' i find that it's easy for me to lose touch of what keeps me happy - being artsy. and i even 'forgot' to design a couple of posters for a couple of people because they assured me that it's okay to take my time doing it. thing is, it only takes me a couple of hours to whip up a design and in that two hours, i'm happy. so, that's why i've decided to just get the business back in full swing, no matter how busy i am with work. i think i can spare a few minutes, or hour of the day cooking up a poster or two.

this is also one of the reasons why i can't look for another job yet because there's no way i can do this poster business thing as conveniently as i can now. Unless i do it during the weekends, and at night after arwen's asleep. which means that the turnaround time would be much longer and i just hate to keep clients waiting.

argh. the conundrum.