it's been more than a week since the doctor confirmed that the baby's head is low and engaged. i've been on standby. meaning, i havent been going to work, physically. lucky huh? yeah, as much as i hate have strong dislike for the place i work at (who, in this universe where sane people dwell, actually do, sincerely like the place they work at anyway?) i am lucky to be given such a flexible option. and i am thankful to have bosses and colleagues who understand that i can't physically come to the office. my studio head even forbids me to come. yup, FORBIDS. that's how cool these people are.
and hey, contrary to what you might tell yourself, i actually do WORK when i am at home, ok?
now, back to the baby.
maybe i'm just too excited to have this baby that i wish that she comes out earlier than her due date. so far i've organised and reorganised her clothes and stuff in her drawers about three times a week. obviously, my nesting period is in full gear. all the time thinking that i can't wait to see her in those cute little onesies. and i tell her everyday that it's ok if she wants to come out early. like, RIGHT THIS MINUTE, PLEASE BABY! but, if she's truly her mother's daughter, i dont think she's the listening to mom type of girl.
a week ago, three days ago, i might've been a train wreck. but now, i've sortta achieved this zen-like state of mind. well, yeah, i'm still paranoid. that wont ever change. even normal vaginal discharge makes me freak out and wonder if i'm leaking amniotic fluid. but i think this zen? i think it's just the acceptance of my fate. this baby is coming out. and i will feel pain. A LOT OF PAIN.
it's only a matter of time. like, 2 weeks, more or less.
and hey, contrary to what you might tell yourself, i actually do WORK when i am at home, ok?
now, back to the baby.
maybe i'm just too excited to have this baby that i wish that she comes out earlier than her due date. so far i've organised and reorganised her clothes and stuff in her drawers about three times a week. obviously, my nesting period is in full gear. all the time thinking that i can't wait to see her in those cute little onesies. and i tell her everyday that it's ok if she wants to come out early. like, RIGHT THIS MINUTE, PLEASE BABY! but, if she's truly her mother's daughter, i dont think she's the listening to mom type of girl.
a week ago, three days ago, i might've been a train wreck. but now, i've sortta achieved this zen-like state of mind. well, yeah, i'm still paranoid. that wont ever change. even normal vaginal discharge makes me freak out and wonder if i'm leaking amniotic fluid. but i think this zen? i think it's just the acceptance of my fate. this baby is coming out. and i will feel pain. A LOT OF PAIN.
it's only a matter of time. like, 2 weeks, more or less.
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